


hate to see em go but love to watch em leave

by uwu



Series: gone, baby, gone [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bucky is The Winter Soldier, Gun Kink, M/M, bangsting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1665842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwu/pseuds/uwu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He isn't Bucky, but he is. Just like he's still Steve, but not really anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hate to see em go but love to watch em leave

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to jay, johnny, and molly thank you guys!

Steve’s not supposed to be here, not technically. He’s not supposed to have ditched Sam, and gone on his own. But.

This was something he had to do on his own, he had to try.

  
There’s a gun aimed at his head and a hand in his hair, and all he can think is _bucky bucky bucky_. His knees don't hurt when he does this anymore (anymore like he’s done this once since he’s lost Bucky), even before when he was in war they used to hurt. But then he was fatigued and hungry and scared of being caught. Now he’s just scared of being stopped. He doesn’t want to stop. He doesn't want Bucky -- The Winter Soldier -- to stop fucking his mouth, and holding him down.

Granted when he met up with the winter soldier he didnt expect him to push him down to his knees -- the gun to his head though, he expected that. Being on his knees for Bucky, just like old times, brings him back to all the times he’s done this -- Bucky having to cover his own mouth to keep quiet -- the fear of being caught always in the back of their minds. How this was how he said goodbye to Bucky when he left for the army, the last time he and Bucky were ever the same, were ever really steve’n’bucky. How fitting it is, that this is how he’s saying hello.

Then Bucky (the winter soldier) thrusts into his mouth and digs the gun into his head and he's brought out of his thoughts back to the present. An ember of a fire that had died along with Bucky when he’d fallen slowly warms up every time Bucky (the winter soldier) thrusts into his mouth, every time he pulls a move that's so familiar to Steve it feels like home. He doesn’t want to think about repercussions and consequences of his actions -- he just wants to be surrounded by Bucky.

He just wants to go wherever Bucky takes him, move whichever way Bucky (the winter soldier) wants him to, let Bucky pull him on and off his dick by his hair. Let him dig his gun into his head and drag it across his cheeks while looking down at Steve. (Steve can't make himself look up at Bucky -the winter soldier- after he dared one time and saw nothing but a dispassionate gaze, nothing like how Bucky ( _bucky bucky bucky_ ) used to look at him.) Steve just wants to lose himself in this, not be the one in control but give his control away willingly, not have it taken away.

And he gets his wish -- he stops thinking about anything but this -- when Bucky pulls out and replaces his dick with his gun. And something in him lights up at this, at the same time he feels himself get harder, wanting desperately to grind up against Bucky but knowing he hasn’t been given permission to. He sucks on the gun, the taste of it making him want to curl his tongue -- cold, metallic -- but instead he forces as much of it as he can his mouth. Bobbing his head like he would if it was Bucky’s dick instead of his gun, wondering if Bucky(the winter soldier)’s getting as much out of this as he is. Wonders why he’s even bothering to do this, surely the winter soldier has more important things to do than Steve. Bucky (the winter soldier the winter sol-) pulls the gun out of his mouth just to drag it across his face, wet with his own spit.  

He feels his hair tugged back sharply as Bucky starts fucking into his mouth again, nothing about this gentle or loving and he misses Bucky with something he hasn’t felt since he saw him that day on the bridge. Because even when he and Bucky were toying around with this, even when Bucky was supposed to not be holding back he was; he always was, he was so gentle (always so gentle even when he was rough). He’d hold Steve’s face if he was getting blown, he’d fuck him face to face because he wanted to kiss Steve the entire time; Bucky loved him.

He doesn’t want to think about that, he doesn’t want to think about anything. So he concentrates on sucking Bucky’s dick, because this he’s good at this (he’s been good at this since before the serum). Steve’s determined, and when his lips touch Bucky’s belly he feels a thrill shoot through him, reminding him that he’s hard too. Bucky’s grip on his hair gets impossibly tighter, and he feels the gun slip out of his hands as he focuses completely on grabbing at Steve. And Steve doesn’t gag, even when Bucky loses what little control he had and starts thrusting in, because he’s good at this god dammit; so all he does is bob his head to match Bucky’s rhythm.

Steve hears Bucky groaning above him, murmuring in languages Steve doesn't understand, and he’s reminded of all the times he’s done this before; of how much he loves doing this. He recognizes that Bucky’s about to come probably before Bucky himself does; and he throws himself into, pulling himself as close to Bucky as he possibly can.

“Steve-”

And Steve comes, not even realizing he was that close; but hearing Bucky saying his name after (70 years) so long is enough. He loses time for a little bit, but he knows Bucky leaves, he knows if he opens his eyes he’ll be alone. He knows how he must look; still in his conspicuous suit, messed up and ruffled, red puffy lips, and tears unshed in his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> ok so i said i wasnt gonna do this and work on a chaptered fic but instead i signed up for the stevebucky big bang then wrote this amazing


End file.
